Human beings are wonderful. But some are more wonderful than others. For example, you and I know the kind of person we open up to, trust with our closest secrets, cannot sit down with without wanting to unload our troubles on to them.

Conversely there are others who we don’t want to know what we had for breakfast. We don’t trust them, don’t feel their openness and sincerity and wouldn’t seek them out for counseling, for a listening ear if they were the last person in the world.

This personal quality, the resonance and aura of warmth and empathy that surrounds the first type of person, is energetic and ethereal, not necessarily physical and apparent.

A story: A friend of mine who became a Zen master once told me about the time when she was traveling on a train to visit her family. The custom among the monks from this particular temple when traveling was to blend in, even for short shopping trips. They didn’t wear robes or appear with bald heads in public. So she was sitting on this train in civilian garb wearing a wig, looking like any ordinary conformist person—and most definitely not like a Zen monk—when a man got on the train and sat opposite her in the carriage. Before his destination stop he had poured out his heart to her—his whole relationship history, his frustration with his job, his worries about his ailing mother, his difficulties with his kids, his guilty secret—everything! She said to me that this had happened at other times too. She realized that becoming a monk, taking the vows, making the commitment had somehow placed her in service to the world, in service to humanity, and that she carried this energetically with her wherever she went, so that people like the man in the carriage were drawn toward it and responded to it out of their great need.

Of course, you don’t have to be a Zen monk for this to happen. I had an aunt who had this quality of caring. You couldn’t help but notice that when everyone else was shouting or criticizing or getting wound up, she was in the middle of it all, concerned, engaged, but yet serene and removed from it as well. She had a quality of awareness and acceptance and for that I was drawn to her. Later in school I had a teacher with a similar quality of warmth and authenticity. He supported my writing, my creativity, and encouraged me and gave me confidence. He extended his care to me and I felt like I mattered to him. We all know the ones we can share with, the ones whom are healing to be with, the ones who seem to know a little more, the ones who have dug deeper into the secrets of life. They are the ones who care—not that others don’t—it’s just that they radiate warmth and empathy so they follow through and deliver.

BLOG entry #60

At the present time in the western and westernized world we have four broad types of human beings:

·         sleep-walkers

·         sheep

·         the curious

·         and the courageous

The sleep-walkers are those who fit neatly into the system, who are unconsciously cloning behavior and emulating emotional reactions. They are mostly concerned with action and practical and material world matters, and they function minimally as human beings to get through life without questioning, enquiring, or consideration. They are not philosophers in any sense of the word, not psychologists, not thinkers, but neither are they growing or developing in any other than purely biological and minimal developmental ways. Sleep-walking is therefore an apt description. They have not awoken, not even roused. They maintain the status quo. They are the rice and vegetables of humanity.

The sheep appear to question or enquire, but in reality they are not that much different, deep down, to the sleep-walkers. They manage to maintain the appearance of interested, thoughtful beings, perhaps with stimulating books adorning their shelves and an appearance or two -- which they can regale their friends with at social gatherings -- at courses and workshops in art, creativity, or even personal development. But they have missed the one essential which will set them apart from sleep-walkers and that is the ability to think for themselves, to criticize their education, their indoctrination, and their domestication and conformist behavior in the system, and their tacit support for the status quo. In order to stay strong, and virtually unassailable, the system subsumes not only the conformists but also the antagonists, the rebels, and the critics, so that -- as per the dictum: keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer – the sheep follow blindly and are led unquestioningly.

The curious have imbibed some sense of inner restlessness. Something, they know, is not quite right and they have decided to do something about it. They may not know what to do about it, how to do anything, where to go to do it, or how to start. But they need no convincing that some radical difference is called for. They have awoken to the extent that they are not overly comfortable like the sleep-walkers and the sheep. They have blinked their eyes, so to speak, and seen, even if only for an instant, some alternative reality. However, there are so many today – by no means the majority, but a growing number -- that the enterprises of raising consciousness and cultivating compassion have turned into flourishing businesses. Blunted by the edge of desire, what were in the Seventies cutting-edge workshops and experiments in becoming alive, feeling intense emotions, and releasing and waking up spiritually, emotionally, and energetically to vibrant life has been popularized and metamorphosed into entertainment.

Thus the curious have become consumers, participating in a sort of endless fiesta of multiple approaches, a smorgasbord of insight-enhancing methods and approaches where the practitioners are only as good as they are a fresh, new novelty and the participants are only interested in the very latest fashion in awareness and the so-called Shift. As dazzling as it is, the spectacle of the gathering of the curious has become a self-serving event. It is little good appealing to our better nature and declaring this the gateway to more serious endeavors. Who in their right mind could possibly forsake this orgy of the senses, this self-righteousness and implied virtuousness, where any seeker on the path may ascend into the clouds and declare himself enlightened!

We have lost discernment, if we ever had it in the first place, and the blind leading the blind comes to mind as an apt description.

The spiritual way that is appropriate to this time, this era, this space, and the contemporary human predicament right now is self-directing, self-regulating, self-fuelled, and self-motivated practice, commitment, and courageous application.

Out of the history of the human struggle to make sense of the world and surrender to a greater force than the merely objective, relative realms of fluctuating forms, three broad streams of spiritual undertaking have emerged. One is living in this world in the belief that there is a better world we attain to in the future. Second, is to turn your back on this world, transcend worldly appetites, and enter a “better” or more spiritual world, even prior to physical death. Third, is the delight in spiritual “experiences” in the present bodily reality as an end in itself. Generally speaking these approaches inhere respectively in:

·         the religio-spiritual belief systems of the Middle East

·         the religio-spiritual belief systems of the Far East

·         and the way of the mystics

I encourage you to take your self-direction, self-regulation, self-fuelling, and self-motivation and apply yourself to a fourth way. The religions of the Middle East and the Far East have shown us the ways of renunciation and acceptance: to reject or accept the world in its present form and its invitation to participate in it. Either option involves abnegation, since the present world is abandoned in favour of a more glorious life in another world or a supernal experience through rejecting the present life. In the case of the mystic way, there is also a tacit abandonment of present experience and process of life in favour of a homogenous experience of transcendent or life-negating unity.

The fourth way is the way of total acceptance of life in its ordinariness, wondrousness, and mystery. There is no other world, no other time, no other place, and no journey to where you presently are. This world is the very heaven, Nirvana itself. The Kingdom of God resides in your own heart. The dance of Shiva is a present reality, not something you have to travel to see!

The seeker is and always has been suffering from the delusion that he may find what he is looking for in some other place, at some other time, in some other dimension. He enlists the help of teachers, teachings, books of wisdom, approaches, and methodologies, theories and dictums, good advice and bad – but he is never, never free of the basic delusion that what he seeks is closer to him than his own eyes.

Today is the time of the self – the individual is paramount. The seeker has emerged as an entity of longing, of aspiration, of desire. He wants all and everything – no less in the spiritual endeavor than in the material one. He is enthused and excited to become, to transform, to be. He looks here, he looks there, for himself and for the truth, for reality, for God, if needs be. But he is deluded. The courage of the seeker must be to renounce the search itself, to realize the futility of the search, to abandon the historical and time-honored wisdom to which he may have stapled his delusion and loyally fastened his trust. You must be forsaken and you must forsake everything you hold dear to attain the only thing of value – the jewel is in your heart.

The century of the self – the twentieth century – has given rise naturally to the twenty-first century – the century of radical decision... by choice or by default. For this can be a time of growing superficiality, hollow hopes, the degradation of spiritual morality, the growth of pointless desire and the consolation, of mere spectacle and representational “reality” obscuring Reality, Truth and Wisdom. Or, this can be the age of the self transcending itself. Using our great awareness of all and everything to discover the self within that is the very seed of the divine, the growth of the heart within us, and the birth of the divine self, and the Divine Person in which we are all one.

This is the hope for humanity; this is the way that peace, cooperation, and tolerance can finally be achieved. Not by any accumulative effort, not by trying or travelling or seeing or developing through progressive stages of peace unfolding in us. Spirituality or Truth or Reality or God is not separative or divisive and from this we should be able to see that neither is it partial. On the contrary, it is whole, total, and without a second. Not even you and I are two – God-Reality is All and Everything, therefore it is not progressively attained even if to attain it were the goal.

There is one thing and one thing alone that you need to do. That is to realize yourself and this realization is of nothing other than exactly, precisely, and indistinguishably what you are right now.

This is why I do not advocate the historical approaches in the tradition of humanity’s search for Truth. On the contrary I honor and revere them, since they have enabled us to awaken and see now in this present era that Truth is right here. The human being is inherently free, wise, and loving. All you need do is realize yourself... and that is the work of the courageous.

Self-realization begins with the removal of the fetters of small selfhood. In order to engage in a practical method to release our inner freedom, we all need to do work on the character, the personality, and the contraction of the ego-processes. For a first step in getting practical advice in how to do this see http://www.sacredattentiontherapy.com/About-Us.html. If you have already begun then visit http://www.sacredattentiontherapy.com/SAT-Online-Training-Level-1.html.

BLOG entry #59

Most of us see, experience, and are convinced of ourselves as separate and divided from the rest of existence. This is our ongoing conviction and "reality." What can we do to solve this problem, to heal ourselves of delusion so that in the long run we may consistently live in the company of Truth only?

For some it's a hard road and for others it's a joyous path... according to their tendencies. First, you are stirred to some form of faith, faith is the guiding impulse, a conviction that you are other, or there must be more, or some irritation with the world of appearances, some dissatisfaction or perhaps crisis sets in to disturb you.

Second, you open intentionally or otherwise to outward agencies, spiritual agencies. Some help must appear in the guise of the spiritual teacher, the teaching, and/or a group of dedicated beings intent on awakening. One or perhaps all of these come. They appear and you embrace them as best you can for this initial experience of readjustment or sadhana (spiritual practice). Bear in mind this initiatory energy does not usually sustain. It is merely an introduction and the forebear of many changes.

Third, you are faced with narrowing the field, making a heart commitment to some method, master, or teaching, and if your heart calls you sincerely to do so, follow this.

Fourth, the journey begins properly. Deepening in sacred-spiritual relationship to yourself, to life, to the teacher and the teachings you embrace and deepen in your spiritual practice. You begin to experience the benefits of a solid, grounded sadhana. You shed the childhood ego, the survival strategies you have built up. You begin to erode the adult ego-sense of self that you have developed over time and calcified and contracted into. Do these things, follow these stages and in time you heal yourself of delusion and enjoy the company of Truth, God, and Reality.

For more on this theme see Richard’s book, Human Awakening at http://www.sacredattentiontherapy.com/Books.html

BLOG entry #58

Once I said to my father, 'Why do you want me?' I still think that's the bravest thing I've ever done. -- China Miéville, This Census-Taker

It was during those years that I discovered that loving [my father] was like sticking a blade into my own heart. It got me nowhere, except awake in the middle of the night, recalling the years when my father was the strongest, the smartest, the funniest, and I lay curled in my bed, wondering why I had been cheated out of a father who loved me, and one I could love in return. -- Alison Singh Gee, Where the Peacocks Sing: A Palace, a Prince, and the Search for Home

Fathers of daughters face a great challenge when their little girl reaches puberty. Around the age of twelve, thirteen or fourteen a terrific transformation is taking place and it is crucial that fathers are adequately equipped to handle the changes and transformation wisely and compassionately. If they don't then they may regret it for the rest of their parental lives.

The female is transforming from being a little girl to a young woman. Puberty presents her with emotional, sexual, sensual, and mysterious forces growing and conflicting and causing a tempest of confusion and disorientation inside her, as she attempts hopelessly to grapple with the birth of her new self. She seeks the father's help in this, she demands it, she desperately needs his support, his orientating powers and reflection to know, understand, and reflect back to her who and what she is, was, and will become.

There may never have been a golden era when this transition was handled appropriately, ideally, or even well. It may well be that it has always been compromised. Today we have women who may have the vote, some vague sense of parity with males at work (or not), a consciousness of gender issues and self-value. However, until the rite of passage I am referring to here has been understood and acted on, the place of women in the world today will always be compromised, the true value of women will be unrecognized, and in spite of our work with violence and prejudice these same evils and negativity will live on in over half of the world population.

The intelligent, informed father must understand that, through him, his daughter seeks to be contained, within firm loving boundaries. She needs to test her power -- against him, as this is (theoretically at least) the safest place to do it. It is also the most relevant place to do it, as her unpredictable and volatile behavior presages her entry into the interpersonal dynamics of relational intimacy, sexuality, and attachment to a partner.

Father must hold his own attachments to his daughter lightly. He must let her go; he must release her of identification with the little girl and welcome and help to create through his acceptance the young woman in her who she is about to become

Understanding the tremendous rite of passage which is taking place, the father must be able to put his own issues to one side. This is of course virtually impossible. In fact it may only happen when the father has some familiarity with his inner processes and internal world through some sustained period of inner work with a skilful and effective practitioner. Without such a period of therapy and inner work the father will behave essentially unconsciously without any awareness of the compelling and unconscious life patterning that underpins his existence.

Even when the father can put his personal material to one side he is faced with some of the most challenging and potent relationship experiences of his life. The young girl moving into young womanhood desperately seeks to feel acceptance and experience clear boundaries, the recognition of her personal power, the acknowledgement of her frustration and tremendous effort to become, in the long line of individual and collective development, a woman.

Related material: see “Men and Women in Therapy” in Richard Harvey, Human Awakening, 56-61, at http://www.sacredattentiontherapy.com/Books.html

BLOG entry #57

U is a spiritual teacher, an advaita vedantist, who responded to a quote from my book Dharma Sky when Robert Meagher posted it on the Sacred Attention Therapy Study Group. The short exchange between U and myself illustrates the crucial necessity for Sacred Attention Therapy in a culture that seeks a quick spiritual fix to avoid psychological problems and highlights the need for radical healing of the psyche as a prelude to sincere spiritual practice leading to Self-realization.

“The next is the slightly complex quality of acceptance. Accepting everything is a sacred practice. It means approaching people, events, relationships, and circumstances openly, but also with an expanded possibility. In a sense anything might happen, but this does not mean that it is all good or even alright. So within the atmosphere of openness and acceptance, we may discriminate and respond appropriately, say no when we need to, and realize and remember that we have a responsibility to the other person and to our self to represent the ethos of sacred conduct and boundaries.” – Richard Harvey, Dharma Sky, 99

U: Acceptance presupposes non-acceptance… transcend both by remaining in awareness of both and the limitations they impose on your true being. How can one expect to transcend limitations by including them in their approach? It will only raise another one. Find out who's the one in which these, the need for acceptance for example, are happening.

Richard: With great respect, you state the position of Advaita (Non-dualism) on this question of acceptance. But Sacred Attention teachings embrace not only the non-dualist point of view, but also the Dvaita (Dualist), and Visistadvaita (Qualified Non-dualist) positions too. This is because in SAT we do not differentiate or separate those human beings who consider themselves different from God, part of God, or One with God (respectively dualism, qualified non-dualism, and non-dualism). While you are surely correct in saying that accepting a limitation will only raise another... and another, people today have experienced a dearth of acceptance of themselves in early life. The inner realms of the psyche (or soul) are required to heal deeply in order for individuals to attain the depth of surrender necessary to embrace the deep spiritual insights of Advaita and until they do Oneness remains out of reach.

U: Much love Richard. ...indeed, my approach is very direct....it doesn't give room for the psychological mind by questioning its existence and its validity right away. This is self-inquiry which is necessary and includes what you speak of but more directly. Therefore this approach is not for the faint of heart. The Oneness which I assert is present without any excuse is already there. So Oneness must be transcended in order to experience it as a living reality.....eventually. Why? Because it also leads to two which is still separation. So one must inquire directly eventually when the maturity is there.

Richard: All love to you U. Self-enquiry (vichara) is an ancient method of discovering the Self and Advaita Vedanta is one of the very highest spiritual insights and methodologies in the world today. However, since the writing of the Vedas and the practices of ancient times the world in which human beings live has changed out of all recognition. Technological, scientific, sociological, societal, and cultural transformation has rendered our world more complex and sophisticated than Christ, Krishna, or the Buddha could possibly have conceived. It may be that in times gone by self-enquiry emancipated human beings (although even this is the stuff of legends very often). Today though in an increasingly westernized culture the conversations of Ramana Maharshi or Nisargadatta, though relatively recent, read like anachronisms. Watered down self-enquiry, offered by popular spiritual "teachers" has been sanitized and processed into spiritual entertainment for sincere seekers who are nonetheless unable to awaken. In Sacred Attention teachings we are absolutely clear. Perhaps it is "maturity," as you say, to enquire directly, but the vast mass of humanity is psychologically damaged. Working with egos that are unformed, malformed, or simply non-existent there is a crucial and immediate need for people to grow into adulthood through a complex process of psychological development, heart-flowering into authenticity and compassion, and -- and this is a big and -- entering a period of spiritual preparation before entering into spiritual practices proper. Hardly anyone is really ready for self-enquiry; this is just the way it is and we must face and work with present world conditions without idealization or unreal expectations. So my primary thought is that we must heal the psyche when the maturity is there… and not rush into spirituality before we are ready.

Dharma Sky by Richard Harvey is available at http://www.therapyandspirituality.com/books/dharma-sky.html.

The paragraph at the beginning of this blog is from the lecture Sacred Attention Part 2, 30 Jan 2013. You can see and listen to an interview about this lecture at

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKG0sN5num0&index=43&list=PLx4lzCsR4bvkaAU2mEeanTGvrhRkSz5jR

The lecture Sacred Attention Part 2, 30 Jan 2013 is available to download at http://www.sacredattentiontherapy.com/Lectures.html

For info on the Sacred Attention Therapy Study Group visit http://www.sacredattentiontherapy.com/Study-Group.html

BLOG entry #56